Monday, November 7, 2011

A new day, a new beginning...

So, currently at the moment I am in my third hour class which happens to be Lotus Leaf/Journalism. I like being the Photographer but at some points in time it is kind of stressful and I don't know if I want to continue on being in this classroom for the remainder of my junior school year.

I am kind of worrying about my ACT test that I am going to have to eventually take somewhere in March and I am trying to build up my vocabulary so I can sound sophisticated and intelligent even though I bet I can't even spell that.

I think it's pointless to sit here and explain about my weekend when nothing honestly really went on except for work and my and my boyfriends one year and eleven month anniversary.

I just want to be done and over with high school so I can pursue my dream in to setting my profession as becoming a Veterinarian. I am kind of excited and kind of not because I am kind of scared quite at the moment. I want to grow up but since I have a fear of death, I don't want to grow up.

Ugh, decisions, decisions. I just want to die sometimes so I don't have to worry about growing up and to face my challenges because the world is honestly getting more violent and harsher within the years. I think that man kind is going to wipe out its population by how greedy and selfish we are.

But I have to look to the bright side even with the side doesn't seem so bright...

Friday, November 4, 2011

Thinking, wondering, expressing...

I've been thinking a lot lately about the past and how much I miss it.
Sure, the present and future has a lot to offer to me, but when I was younger, the world just seemed so carefree and wonderful. I didn't understand much but everything seemed to have a more better understanding the way how I used to think of it.

Now, since I am at an appropriate age to comprehend the outside world, it is all so confusing.
It just makes me wonder why did I want to grow up so fast at such a young age? Is it because of my sister and mother doing stuff I couldn't and I wanted to do those things, like shaving, PMSing, etc?

Also, me and my boyfriend have almost been going out for a whole two years with no fights, and I kind of miss the special feelings we used to get when we first met each other and the questions we used to ask each other but now since we know each other inside and out, it just seems like there's nothing knew.

I want to re spark our love again, but I don't know.
I wonder if he feels the same way, he just kind of goes with the flow now, I don't know.